The beach is one of my favorite places.

I grew up in South Jersey, and while it’s not exactly the blue green water of the Caribbean, I loved living near the ocean. 10 minutes and I could be on a beach, or in the bay crabbing.  When I was 15 I moved to Pennsylvania, and being landlocked really didn’t sit well with me and still doesn’t.  I am now one of those people who makes the trek to the shore every year, one of the very people that I used to make complain about all year long. Damn Shoobies. My beach of choice is in Maryland now, but I still get the feeling of coming home as soon as I can hear the waves crash, the gulls cry and smell the dune grass.

My thoughts wander quickly and effortlessly in the evenings when I am sitting out in a rocker with nothing between me and the ocean. Last night there was the most beautiful sunset. A vivid purple sky streaked with pink stretching as far as the horizon. Any day that would have sent my mind to sweet Maddie and her parents Heather and Mike, but especially last night. Especially on the eve of her her being gone 3 months.

It really amazes me everyday how much this baby girl has impacted my life. How she has impacted the lives of so many. How the grief filled words of her mother show a strength and resolve that I have never seen before. How every Tuesday, Twitter fills with love to her and her parents. How a majority of the blogs I read have either a Maddie button, or some reference to her. How most of my twitter feed is purple. It is amazing.

At the same time, there has also been an uprising of “trolls”. Hateful, insensitive people who lurk in comments, usually under an annonymus name. Some of them are intentionally there to cause hurt, and pour salt in a open, aching wound. Some of them just don’t think before they hit the “publish comment” button. Either way, I have been proud to see that many of the people who I consider “friends”, come to the defense of those who shouldn’t have to defend themselves. I have found myself becoming fiercely protective of people I have never met before, just because there is just no way that they should have anything more on their plate.

Today I will be wearing a purple bathing suit while playing on the beach with my sons. I’m sure I will have a great day with them, and we will have alot of fun as a family. However, deep within my mind I am sure that Maddie won’t be far, and tonight when I am back in my rocker with a glass of wine, I will grieve for a little girl I never met… right along side with a wonderful group of caring people that I hope to.

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