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Everyone has those little bits of random that are theirs alone. Sometimes they are aren’t noticeable, sometimes they are glaringly obvious. Being the little sister in my family, I found any of my eccentricities were pointed out with relish, the more public the setting the better. Sort of like when I got my period for the first time and that evening at dinner my Mom announced to the dinner table “Allison has become a woman today!”.

Yeah. Like that.

I will admit that I do have some quirks. Most of them seem to revolve around eating, but not all. For example, I rarely take a bit OUT of anything. I prefer to cut it into pieces that I can just pop into my mouth. This goes for pretty much anything: fruit, sandwiches, pizza…whatever. I seriously destroy my food. I blame it on 3 years of braces. Anyone who has had those brackets of doom understands that biting into anything is just asking for hours of cleaning later. Jim, however, is of the opinion that I am just a little crazy.

I also LOATHE eating in public. Apparently this is an actual type of eating disorder, but I am not extreme with it. When I was little we would go out to eat as a family and I would pick and pick, barely touching my food. We would leave and as soon as we got in the car I would tear into my leftovers. They never had a chance. As I grew older and realized I had to actually cook in order to eat of home it got a little better. I am still much more likely to get take-out than I am to eat IN a restaurant…but I can do it without as much angst now.

One of Jim’s favorite things to pick on my for happens during my bedtime routine. When I finally make it to bed I always put lotion on my feet. I have super dry skin on my tootsies and it is uncomfortable to the point of  pain if I don’t lube them up. BUT…I don’t want my hands covered in lotion. So I squirt the lotion onto one foot and rub the soles of my feet together to spread it. Are you getting this visual? I’m sure it is rather entertaining to watch…but I HAVE to do it.

What little things do you do?

Chase LOVES himself some Thomas The Tank Engine. I mean loves.Up until Friday, when I gave him his birthday present early, he hadn’t had any actual trains and only knew about them from the show. He knows ALL of their names and exactly which story goes with what train, and can tell you all about their stories. He is serious about this train thing. For realz.

Cue my mother.

It is no secret that I don’t enjoy her company. I really try to get along with her, but she is just not someone I can spend time with. I wanted her to be able to spend some time with Chase on his birthday (yesterday) so we made plans for her and my Dad to come over at 11am and have lunch with us. She asked him what she should get him. I told her, “Get James, Emily, and Gordon.” Being as that a certain big name toy store was having a “buy 2 get one free” sale on Thomas engines…I figured this was the cheapest…and easiest way to go. She wrote down the names and said she would get them. I should have known it was too easy.

At noon yesterday my parent arrive at my house. My mother immediately begins complaining about the fact that Jimmy is on his way up for his nap. I attempt to calmly tell her that I had asked them to come at 11 so that they could see him before his nap. That doesn’t work, so I drop the subject, put Jimmy up for his nap and do my best to ignore her complaining.

Chase and my Dad are very happily playing on the floor, which I was SO happy to see. My Dad has been so sick recently…I wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to do that again, but he was. My Mom pulls Chase’s gifts out.

James?  Check.

Gordon and Emily? Nope.

Instead, there was a Thomas Backpack.

The same Thomas Backpack that someone else had gotten him, because I told them my Mom was getting the 3 engines. OK. no big deal. I’ll take it back.

We go about our day, and they leave. Later that evening I get a call from my mom telling me that she hadn’t realized James was part of the “buy 2 get one free” deal. I told her that I had given her those 3 names because of the deal, yada yada yada. She asks first if she can have James to take back. I tell her no, just call the store and see if she can bring the reciept in and get two more trains.

9:15 PM. My phone rings. It is a local number but I don’t know it so I don’t answer.

9:17 PM. I call the number back. It is the toy store. I hang up, confused. The only thing I can think is that maybe I was getting a call because Chase is signed up for their birthday club.

9:19 PM. My voicemal notification goes off. I listen. It is MY MOTHER. Calling from the TOY STORE phone asking what trains to get. She wants me to CALL HER BACK. At the TOY STORE. Sigh.

9:21 PM. I call the toy store, so happy that they can’t see me and don’t know me

“Thank you for calling Toy Store, how can I help you?”

“Hi, my name is Ally. My mother just called me from…”

“The Thomas lady?”

*blushes even though she can’t see me”

“Yep. That would be her.”

“Do you want me to relay a message, or drag her over?”

” You better go get her.”

Oh. My. God.

Mom gets on the phone and proceeds into a long drawn out discussion about how she doesn’t want to get Gordon because he looks too much like Thomas. She doesn’t like Emily’s smile. She really likes Hiro though. Blah blah blah. The whole time…ON THEIR PHONE.

Finally I get a word in and just tell her…GET WHATEVER YOU WANT. I DON’T CARE. She says fine. Then tells me that she is keeping them to give him for Christmas.

*HEAD DESK* *HEAD DESK*

I give up.

Dear Chase,

Today you turn three. THREE. It seems so much older than two, even though just yesterday that is what you were. I find it so hard, no impossible to believe that it was already three years since I held you in my arms for the first time. I will never forget meeting your eyes for the first time, or noticing that we have the exact same thumbs. You are such an extension of me, a true smaller version. You have all of my features, right down to blood type. I used to wish you looked more like Daddy but now I am so happy you look like me.

You are my little sidekick, my best buddy. You are truly coming into your personality and you make us laugh all day long. You are an amazing big brother, even when Jimmy isn’t very nice to you. You LOVE Thomas the Tank and would watch that show all day if we let you. Your Daddy and I got you your first set of tracks and trains yesterday and you were so excited! You jumped around and yelled about how much you loved Thomas, but completely overlooked the fact you could open the box and actually play with them. That’s OK, you made up for it later.

I enrolled you in preschool this week Buddy-man. You are going to go to the same one that your Daddy went to when he was little. I really think you are going to like it, but I am a bit sad. I am just not ready for you to grow up. I am not ready to lose any more time with you than I already do by working. I really want you to have this experience though and I know you will be a rock star at school. You are the sweetest little man I know. You can adapt to anything that comes up, I know you can.

I really hope that you keep the sweetness that you have now. You are the first to say “God Bless You” when someone sneezes, and the first to ask “Whatsa matter?” when you think someone is upset. Just this morning when I stubbed my toe, you ran over and rubbed my back telling me that it would be all better. And you know what? It was. I like to think you had something to do with it. You have made my life mean something. You were the incentive I needed to get my life together and be a better person. Every time you run over for a hug, or you tell me “Lub you more”…my heart almost overflows. There is no better feeling in the world than hearing that from you. Every time you use the potty you run over and tell me “I made my Mommy happy!”. You don’t need to use the potty to make me happy, you thrill me each and every day.

I love you so much Chase-face, my  Chasifer, the Chasinator.

Mommy

My little corner of the Internet is buzzing. In two! weeks I will be on my way to Philadelphia International to pick up Jenn from the airport. After some serious SQUEEEEEEEEing we will be on our way back to my humble little suburb for the evening. Two! weeks from tomorrow we will wake up on HER BIRTHDAY and mosey our way up to the Big Apple courtesy of chauffeur services demanded  offered by my darling husband. (Thanks babe!)

Anywhoo. I’ve never been to BlogHer before so I can’t offer up any advice for newbies (me) and while I havebeen to NYC more times than I can count…I still get lost, so no sightseeing advice either. So. Here is what I got. A little bit about me even though I am under no illusion that I am interesting enough for anyone to truly care, hee hee.

• I am extremely awkward. Even more so around large groups. Pair that with a couple thousand women I don’t know and you will likely find me in a pool of stuttering mess.
• However…I LOVE to talk. Once you get me going I am a good time, I promise!
• I have panic attacks. I am not overly dramatic about them, but if you see me and I look like a deer in headlights? A hug would be in order. Please and Thank You. Need a hand to hold yourself? Mine will always be available.
• I dislike dressing up. While I will probably throw on a casual dress at some point during the conference, chances are I will feel somewhat out of place in it. I’ll deal. It’s cool.
• My list of people I MUST hug is about 3 pages long. Most of my absolutes have sent me cell phone numbers to ensure we find each other in the swarm of yapping women. If you haven’t and want to meet me? Send me an email with your cell to ali-at-mylifewiththem-dot-com. Capice?
• If I am for some reason on your list of people you want to meet…come talk to me! I am fairly shy though I put on a good game sometimes. *cough twitter cough* I am NO good about approaching groups alone. I am going to work on this, but…we will see.
• I have serious ADD. Oh look, something shiny! What? Who? Where was I?
• I have smaller feet than the rest of my roomies. No shoe swaps for me. Sad Panda.
• I have NEVER been away from my husband overnight unless I was in the hospital after having his babies. Can’t say that I cared much then. This is going to be a totally new experience for me. I may need someone to spoon with.
• I’m looking for someone to go walk around NYC on Thursday afternoon with the sole intention to take some pictures for a couple hours. Nothing long or crazy. Just a buddy to shoot with.
• I will be at the Starbucks in the Hilton numerous times throughout the conference. Coffee meet-ups are a must.
• I have boring hair.
• I fidget.
• I like Jager bombs and I like Blue Moon even more.
• I have no desire to be DRUNK at any point. I would like to maintain a constant level of tipsy. Let’s do that.
• I have some guilt about leaving the boys and coming to this conference at all. I am going to try damn hard to tell the guilt to suck it and have a good time.
• Have I mentioned I want to meet you?

De-Lurk PLEASE! Leave a comment, I want to know what is going on with you!

Are you coming to BlogHer? Are you partying with the Blogher-at-Home ladies? Are you doing something else insanely awesome that weekend? Are you stuck working?

So. We got back last night from a week at the beach. A very un-internet friendly week , but a week at the beach regardless. The boys were so amped up to go, Chase did nothing but ask every day “We go beach today”. Whether or not he really knew what he was excited for is another thing all together. Every day the two boys would stand and look out the window…asking if we were at the beach yet. Apparently they started with the “Are we theres yet” before we had even left. Tee Hee.

We really had an awesome week in Ocean City, Maryland. We got there every year, and we get the same house so we know what to expect. Chase and Jimmy did OK. They were a little out of sorts just not being home, but so happy to be with the whole family. Chase LOVED the waves this year, which was a huge difference from last year. (I don’t have any pics to post of them physically on the beach because I took them with my point and shoot…and now can’t find the cable. Grrr) Our house is AWESOME. This is the veiw from the back deck.

Sunday was the 4th of July. I LOVE Independence Day. I don’t know if it is just a side effect from living near Philadelphia, but I love it. I love BBQ’s and fireworks and the whole deal. After dinner we hung out outside and the boys played with trucks and did some bubble chasing.

Ocean City puts on a pretty spectacular fireworks display, and we were able to watch them from out front balconies. There were also tons of fireworks on the beach so once it was completely dark  we spent a lot of time running from the front to back of the house watching all the shows.

My favorite image from the whole day is not of fireworks. It’s not of the boys. It’s not of the beach. It is a simple statement, marked against a beautiful sky.

I love our flag.

11:15 pm. I am laying in bed watching a movie featuring a gloriously good looking young man. I have to get up at 5:30am but I can’t sleep. I toss and turn, smushing my pillow this way and that under my head. I search for the cool spots on the bed with no luck, but I still keep our blanket covering most of me. I always sleep like that.

A familiar tingle runs up my spine and I pray that this wasn’t going to turn into a full blown panic attack. I feel my heart begin to speed up and I throw the covers off and sit on the edge of the bed, attempting to get my body back into control. I stand up and walk halfway down the hallway to the room that holds the two innocent lives that I am responsible for. I have to keep my shit together…I can’t lose it until someone else is here with them. I turn back and go into my bathroom instead, holding on to the counter for dear life. I look up into my reflection and see sheer terror in my eyes. I try to tell myself that I have felt like this before and didn’t die…but my head doesn’t listen. Everything in my body screams that this time is different. This time I will die.

I wish Jim was home.

I go down the stairs and turn the air conditioning up a few notches. I slowly walk back up the steps, trying to keep my heart rate from going any higher than it already is. My cell phone is tightly clenched in my fist, I need to have it near me in case I need it. I am headed back into my room when I decide to go in and look at the boys.

I step over the gate at their door and enter their room. I walk over to Jimmy’s crib first and gently rest my hand on his back. He arches against my hand and scoots his legs under his body bringing his little booty up in the air. I toss a light blanket over him and move on to Chase.

Chase has fallen asleep with 3 Matchbox Cars and a portion of their track. I pull all the toys out of his bed and slowly ease down beside him in his twin bed. Laying flat emphasizes how fast my heart is beating and my body is dying to get up. To move. To pace. Anything. I don’t move. I stay there and concentrate on the up and down of Chase’s chest. I concentrate on the warm weight of his head on my shoulder. I concentrate on them and once again, like so many other times, they save me.

Today my Grandy turns 100 years old.

100 years old.

Totally impossible to even wrap my head around that number. I tried to last year and failed miserable so I will just leave it. This week and weekend my Dad’s family (minus my brother, 2 cousins and I) will gather in Connecticut for her birthday party. I am so sad to miss it, but will be there in spirit.

Happy Birthday Grandy, you are the most rockin’ 100 yr old I know.

I love you

Ally-allygator.

Two weeks ago yesterday I took Chase to the doctor for a red swollen area behind his left ear. It looked a little hivey, but since nothing new had been introduced to him I figured we would go have it looked at. Chase’s pediatrician told us it was probably a reaction to a bug bite, and maybe it was a bit infected. We left the office with a ten day script for some antibiotics.

A couple days later the redness had spread some, so back into the doctor we went. We saw another doctor in the group, and he said it wasn’t anything he was very concerned about but to continue the antibiotics and add some Zyrtec to the mix to see if that helped. We gave him the Zyrec that afternoon and immediately saw a huge difference. We figured he got bit by a spider and had had a little allergic reaction, and maybe a bit of an infection. There was a big sigh of relief when the redness went down.

Chase finished his antibiotics last Saturday and this Wednesday I noticed a red splotch on his left cheek. Over the course of Wednesday and Thursday it across his cheek and the center took on a pale look to it while all around it was red.

Back into the doctor we went.

Diagnosis?

Lyme’s Disease.

We are fortunate that Chase presented with the bulls-eye rash. The theory is that the original redness was the tick bite being a bit infected, and now he is presenting the bulls-eye. The course of treatment is three weeks of oral antibiotics. He should be fine, it is highly unusual for there to be any issues after it has been caught so early.

I hate this part of being a parent. I hate the feeling in your stomach when you JUST KNOW something is not right. I hate watching the doctor examine my child. I hate having to give him medicine. I hate the idea that something could take him away from me.

Chase was lucky, but a lot of kids go undiagnosed until they become symptomatic. Check your kiddies before bed for ticks if you live in an area that Lyme’s is prevalent in. We live in an area where Lyme’s is hugely active and we are vigilant about checking the boys. However not all ticks latch, some just bite and fall off so watch any bites carefully.

In the mean time? I would like to wrap the boys head to toe in plastic wrap and ensure nothing gets in. Think I can do that? No? Damn.

I am seriously running on empty over here. Class is killing me. Work is kicking my ass. The boys are all over the place and the kitten has made it so I can’t walk across the room without little razor sharp claws attacking my ankles. I was going to do a little list of things that are bothering me (see above) but I decided to do some things that are making me happy instead. Cause, you know. I am all about rainbows and unicorns and shit. Or not.

I like my job. No really. I do. It has it’s moments and holy hell there is drama and bullshit everywhere. However, I work with 90% women…there is no way around the drama. I am thankful every day to have that job and to be able to help support my family and provide insurance for them. It is so important for me to be able to do that for them.

I leave for vacation at the beach in 23 days. A week of fun in the sun with Jim and the boys. We go every year with his family and it is always so much fun. The boys get to see Mom-Mom and Pop-Pop every day for a week and there is nothing better than that in their world. I can’t wait to relax and to especially spend some much needed time with Jim.

 In 21 days my class will be over. I will be done working this wack ass schedule to accommodate my class. I will be done with my entrance exam for the clinical portion of the nursing program. At this point I don’t even care if I get in for the year I am applying for…I just want the application process to be over.  I will then be off for 6 weeks before the hell of fall classes start.

In 54 days I will head down the Philadelphia International Airport and tackle Jenn when she gets off the plane. I am SO.EXCITED to have her here. Then in 55 days we will head to NYC for BlogHer, even though we will be a couple days early. The idea of a couple days and nights that I can be myself, and not have to change diapers and fill cups is amazing.

Chase is potty training. Like for realz this time. I think. Or maybe he will wake up tomorrow and decide he wants nothing to do with it like he did a month or so ago. But we are on day two going strong! He uses his little potty all by himself without me reminding him at all. However…he has to be naked. He refuses to pull his pants down to go. I’m not sure how to get over this hurdle but we will figure it out I guess!!

So yeah. I’m tired and worn out and the circles under my eyes have their own time zones…but there are some really good things on the horizon!

On Drawing

On His Magnadoodle

Have A Great Weekend!