Posts Tagged ‘momin\’ it up’

I am seriously running on empty over here. Class is killing me. Work is kicking my ass. The boys are all over the place and the kitten has made it so I can’t walk across the room without little razor sharp claws attacking my ankles. I was going to do a little list of things that are bothering me (see above) but I decided to do some things that are making me happy instead. Cause, you know. I am all about rainbows and unicorns and shit. Or not.

I like my job. No really. I do. It has it’s moments and holy hell there is drama and bullshit everywhere. However, I work with 90% women…there is no way around the drama. I am thankful every day to have that job and to be able to help support my family and provide insurance for them. It is so important for me to be able to do that for them.

I leave for vacation at the beach in 23 days. A week of fun in the sun with Jim and the boys. We go every year with his family and it is always so much fun. The boys get to see Mom-Mom and Pop-Pop every day for a week and there is nothing better than that in their world. I can’t wait to relax and to especially spend some much needed time with Jim.

 In 21 days my class will be over. I will be done working this wack ass schedule to accommodate my class. I will be done with my entrance exam for the clinical portion of the nursing program. At this point I don’t even care if I get in for the year I am applying for…I just want the application process to be over.  I will then be off for 6 weeks before the hell of fall classes start.

In 54 days I will head down the Philadelphia International Airport and tackle Jenn when she gets off the plane. I am SO.EXCITED to have her here. Then in 55 days we will head to NYC for BlogHer, even though we will be a couple days early. The idea of a couple days and nights that I can be myself, and not have to change diapers and fill cups is amazing.

Chase is potty training. Like for realz this time. I think. Or maybe he will wake up tomorrow and decide he wants nothing to do with it like he did a month or so ago. But we are on day two going strong! He uses his little potty all by himself without me reminding him at all. However…he has to be naked. He refuses to pull his pants down to go. I’m not sure how to get over this hurdle but we will figure it out I guess!!

So yeah. I’m tired and worn out and the circles under my eyes have their own time zones…but there are some really good things on the horizon!

Yesterday I opened my reader as always and went to read my favorite blogs. I am always excited when I see that Jenn over at Princess Prose has posted. I was even more excited to see that she had tagged me for an award! I was having a bit of a bad day (still am) and it cheered me up considerably. THEN came the extra frosting on the already calorie heavy cake…I pulled up my site and saw that she had redone it for me! I LOVE IT! Thank you so much lady.

Also gave me something to post today which is also a bonus. So thanks Jenn, I super awesome love you and can’t wait until August when I love tackle you in Philly International.

However, along with these lovely little awards come rules. I’m not so good about those.

1. Thank the person who nominated you for this award. (Thanks Jenn!)
2. Copy the award and place in on my blog. (Done and Done)
3. Link to the person who nominated me. (Go Here Beeshes)
4. Share 7 interesting things about yourself. (This is where things start to go downhill)
5. Nominate 7 other beautiful bloggers. (Easy Peasy, right? RIGHT?)

So. 7 interesting things about me. I’m not really all that interesting so this is not fun for me.

~ I always wanted to be left handed. Badly. In about 7th grade I actually tried going the whole year only writing with my left hand. I practiced and practiced and can actually now write very legibly with both hands.

~I am in a full out search for my birth family. I was placed for adoption at birth and was in a NICU for 27 days after which I was placed with a foster family who I stayed in contact with as a kid. The search is super stressful, but my goal is to come out of it with some medical history for my family.

~I hope to enter nursing clinical in Fall of 2011. My ambition is to be a NICU nurse and provide support for little loves like Heather’s  Maddie and  Lindy’s Natalie.

~ Tomorrow (SQUEEEEE) I am buying a Canon Rebel XSi. I have no idea how to use it but Heather has assured me the “For Dummies” book will make me a pro!

~ I have a four year old step-daughter. Actually her and Jimmy’s birthdays are only a day apart, they are one day away from being exactly 3 years apart. ACTUALLY…Maddie and Chase are 18 months apart, Chase and Jimmy are 18 months apart and Maddie and Jimmy are exactly 3 years apart. Gah.

~ I *may* have a touch of baby fever. Thank the sweet baby Jesus for an IUD that I can’t just decided to stop taking, because mah ovaries are on FIRE!

~ I’m peeing myself nervous for Blogher…but can’t wait to go!

OK. I’m glad that is over. Now for seven Beeeeeautiful Bloggers.

Cara of Momma Says. She doesn’t blog enough *hint hint* besides…she kept me on the phone for an hour a few weeks ago so she OWES me!

Katie of Loves of Life. I love her blog and actually know her in real life through an old job. She is expecting her first child soon and her blog is so much fun.

Steph of A Grande Life. We survived the double blizzard of 2010 together via tweet deck and I will always be grateful!

Cindy of Poobou. I love her and her little Catie is my Jimmy’s birthday buddy! She also answers my stupid ass questions for me without throwing fruit at me.

Lu of Jaded Perspective cause, dude, it’s Lu.

Amber of Pacifier Graveyard. The girl just went through hell and is on the other side smiling.

Sara. 3 little ones and still manages to look at things on the bright side. I need more of that!

 

I may have not gotten all the laundry done.

I may have left dirty dishes in the sink.

I may have had the equivalent of a box of Cheerios mashed into my floor.

I may have played hookey from a meeting at work.

But I didn’t miss this on a beautiful spring like day last week.

It was worth it.

I had a really hard time this year when people asked me what to get Jimmy for his birthday. It is a hazard of having boys 18 months apart I guess. I just had a one year old boy not that long ago. I didn’t really need anything. He ended up with some of the normal stuff…some blocks, some clothes and a cool bike thing that will be awesome for this spring and summer from Mom Mom and Pop Pop.

Then there is his gift from his Aunt Kyley. Kyley is one of those super creative artistic types and always gives the best presents to the boys. This was no exception.

At first glance this looks like a pretty normal plate. A little strange sure, but nothing amazing.

Hmmm…the utensils are kinda neat.  A truck spoon and a truck fork. Is that a bulldozer? I is confused.

Then I looked a bit closer and the plate and HOLY COW I done figured it out. Me is smart I tell you. The little slots? The better to stab food that is trying to get away. Think of all the elusive peas that will meet their doom in this booby trap of wonder. 

Then there is the little groove to set the spoon in. Hmmm…How will the help? I then looked closer and noticed the track leading to said spoon groove. Maybe it…?  No. It couldn’t be.

Oh yes, it is.

It is meant to bulldoze food onto the spoon.

Try convincing your kids not to play with their food after they get a load of this!

When I learned I was pregnant with Jimmy in May of 2008 I was in serious shock for a while. I literally cried on and off for weeks, I just could not wrap my head around the idea that I was having another baby. I still HAD a baby. Chase was 9 months old when I became pregnant. I was weaning him off the bottle, but now instead of packing them away I was moving them to a higher shelf. I was pregnant.

Right after Chase had his first birthday in July, we transitioned him to a twin bed(which he adored) after he began to climb out of his crib. Instead of taking the crib down, it was simply moved to another wall in the nursery. I was 3 months pregnant.

Fall came and with it came beautiful weather in Pennsylvania. I love fall. Sweater weather is my favorite time of year, just cool enough to need long sleeves but not a jacket. Jim, Chase and I were all in a wedding in October, and Chase was the best little ring bearer ever. Chase loves to play outside and I did my best to keep up with his 15 month old self. He had adventures that needed tending to…I was just along for the ride. I was 6 months pregnant.

The Holidays arrived in a blur of activity that year. I was getting bigger and bigger every day and my February 10th due date was looming. I tried to concentrate on Chase, making this a special time for him. I felt bad that his world was about to be turned upside down, and he just was not at an age yet where I could explain it to him. I was still working weekends as a bartender. I was 7 months pregnant.

New Years Eve Day. I went to my lady bits/baby doctor  because I felt awful. She checked me, not expecting to really find anything. She then informed me I was 3cm dilated and needed to head over to L&D for monitoring. I was 34 weeks pregnant. My girlfriend drove me to the hospital, and the looming threat of a premature birth loomed in my head. I was hooked up to the monitors and luckily sent home, but on bed rest until delivery. Chase was 17 months old and I was on strict bed rest.

January 17th. Chase gets croup and we land ourselves in the ER at 3am for a breathing treatment. I am 4cm at this point and crying because I don’t know what to do if I have the baby before Chase gets better.

January 24th. Chase is 18 months old.

January 26th. I am 5cm dilated but not in labor (whaaaaaaaaaat?)

January 27th, 2009. My baby makes his way into this world and into our hearts. Born at exactly 38 weeks, 6lb 12oz  and healthy.

Happy Birthday James Mason. My Jimmy Jamboree. The Jamster. Jimmy Bo-bimee. Little J. Jimbo Junior.

I love you.

It’s coming…I can feel it in my bones.

BABY FEVER

Oh gawd. I figured it would be soon anyway, since Chase has gone from this

To this

And Jimmy Jamboree (who is going to be ONE in ONE MONTH *SOB*) has gone from this

To this

I am for sure feeling the lack of baby in my house. THEN to add to the ache, not one…not two…BUT THREE of my friends are all newly pregnant. My best friend from middle school is having her first, one of my best friends from high school is having her second and one of my most favorite online girls too.

Sigh. I may need to re-think this no more babies thing.

Somebody talk some sense in too me and remind me of the four months of screaming colicky hell that was Jimmy as a newborn. The two weeks of bed rest with Chase and the five weeks with Jimmy. Someone remind me that I have a damned good chance of a preemie if I have another baby, or the fact that Jim is a total no go on the idea. Someone tell me I would just be trying for a girl and then end up with three boys and thereisnofrackingwayIcouldhandlethat.

Someone tell me that holding and loving on all my friends babies will be enough.

Someone lie to me, because there is NOTHING that feels like this

This weekend was exactly what I needed. I literally have not left my home since I got home from work on Friday night. Ah-Mazing.

I got to spend some much needed one on one time with my boys. I have really been missing them this week. Last week, while trying to get the house ready to move, I sent them to their Mom-Mom’s on my days off so I could get some things done. It helped me tremendously…but it broke my heart to not be able to spend that time with them.

The boys are loving the new house, there is much more room for them to take over with their thousands of trucks and blocks and balls and pointy things that hurt when I step on them.

They are also big fans of moving due to the boxes required

Jimmy managed to snag the best seat in the house

Then? The best thing that could possibly happen on a weekend when you don’t want to leave the house happened. It started to snow! We had some snow last year that I am sure Chase doesn’t really remember and this is for sure Jimmy’s first real snow, other than the storm he was born during.

 

The boys stood at our slider and watched the snow come down all day, but Chase was being elusive and didn’t want his picture taken. Stinker.

All in all it was an amazing weekend home with my babies, who are getting so big so fast.

Even my Cullen baby is growing up and now has grown in his front teeth, so I no longer have a baby vampire..

And Chase? He is just getting more and more grown up right before my very eyes.

Thanksgiving is for sure one of my favorite holidays. Not only is it the starting line to my favoriteholiday(Christmas!!) ,but it is a carb filled extravaganza that this fatty patty looks forward to all year.

In the years past I mostly concentrated on the food side of Thanksgiving. Well, that and football. This year though, with Chase being a bit older and more able to understand being thankful, I have been trying to explain to him the purpose of the day. He didn’t fully get the point, but he has been walking around telling all of his toys thank you and kissing them. So freaking cute.

This year has brought so many things that I am thankful for. It started out on January 27th with the birth of my baby Jimmy. While I am NOT thankful for 3 months of colic, this little man has brought us so much joy.

I am thankful for every minute that I get to spend with Chase. He is growing up so quickly, and becomes more able to take care of himself every day, even at two years old. He is dressing himself, and holding conversations that awe me every day.

I am thankful for my husband. I am thankful that due to his hard work I got to be home with Chase for over two years and with Jimmy until 6 months. I do not take that time for granted. I am thankful for all that he does for us.

I am thankful to be working, and to have a job when so many people don’t. I will try to remember that when I am complaining.

I am thankful to be moving within 2 miles of a Starbucks on Monday.

I am thankful for the Internet. I have connected with so many amazing people in the last couple years, and am surprised every day at the level of our connections. I have been supported and lifted up so many times, and I am beyond grateful.

I am thankful for my health. While I have some small issues going on, overall I am well.

I am thankful to NOT be pregnant on Thanksgiving. It can really cramp a girls eating style.

Most of all I am just thankful to be able to wake up every day to people I love. I am able to open my laptop and talk to people that make me laugh. I go to work in a job I enjoy and find rewarding. I get to snuggle with my boys and nuzzle into their soft baby necks. I am able to feel my husband wrap his arms around me for a hug.

I am thankful for all of this and more.

Last week I was chatting with Sara on twitterabout my new(ish) job. I was saying how much I like it, and how I am actually really enjoying being back to work full time.

I receieved a nasty email later that day. I’m assuming it was from someone who ran across our conversation on the main feed and came to my blog to hunt down my contact info.

In this email, I was basically told that I was a horrible mother for actually enjoying my job. That I should be heartbroken every day that I drop them off at the sitter where they play with their friends. That being home to do laundry and dishes is more important than providing health insurance for my family. That I should give up all my aspirations of a career because I have children.

I was never sure that I wanted kids. Don’t get me wrong, the boys are my world. I love them more than I can say, and I would never change any of the events that brought those beautiful baby men into my life. But it just wasn’t something I was sure I wanted before they were here. Some young women just know that being a mother is what they want more than anything, that wasn’t me.

Even now I talk to friends who can’t wait for when they can chaperone field trips and be the class mom. That’s not me. I have always been excited about when the time would come that I could return to work full time. That time can a couple years earlier than I had expected, and those of you that come here to support me KNOW how much I struggled with leaving the boys.

I want to be a nurse in 3 years. This is going to involve an insane amount of work for me, and a lot of sacrificing time with my family during the process. After reading Heather’s post this morning, I don’t see how anyone could say it won’t be worth it.

So you know what? I’m sorry if you don’t like that I enjoy my job. I’m sorry if my working full time offends your sense of “womanly duties”. I’m sorry if the fact that I am away from the boys more makes me appreciate the time I have with them more bothers you.

Because it doesn’t bother me and mine, and that’s all that matters.

I am so going through Twitter withdrawal. This whole working full time thing is not good for my social like in any way, shape or form!

Anyway. Today is day 3 of The Job.

It.Is.Insane.

So busy. I knew I was on the second busiest unit of my hospital, but wow. I didn’t expect this. Peeps…take good care of your hearts. Weez iz too busy for you, yo.

The boys are doing AWESOME at their sitters! YAY! Big, Huge, GIGANTIC relief for Mommy. *wipes brow*  C spends the whole day running around with a huge smile on his face. He is so happy to have someone to play with besides “brudder” that he doesn’t even know what to do with himself. It is so great to see him having such a good time there.

J has his moments, but he is doing as well as can be expected. He is napping well, and is easily calmed but is a bit overwhelmed with the change of scenery and other kids. He is so happy to see me when I walk in, and I just eat it up! Soon, when I go to my normal evening shift I think it will actually be easier on him.

I’m tired, and I haven’t gotten to spend any time with the husband this week. That makes me cranky. We will get some time this weekend together though.

Overall things are going well and I think I am going to like this job and do well at it.

I am thrilled to be in the hospital where I delivered my babies, and where my husband was born.

I am learning so much and basically getting paid to learn things that I am going to have to learn in school anyway.

I am going to be able to provide awesome benefits for myself and family.

I am doing something that matters.

I am doing it.

 

*I miss you guys!*