Posts Tagged ‘relationships’

My boys are 18 months apart, almost to the day. It has been a wild ride, one that I wouldn’t change for the world.

The first meeting in the hospital

6 weeks and 19 months

5am, at least THEY are happy

6 months and 2 years

Watching the progression of their relationship has truly been an amazing experience.

December 09 and in a new house

Hey Mommy!

2 1/2 years and 11 months

Oh the brotherly love!

 I think the faces they are making at each other in the last picture really says it all.

I don’t know why it even surprises me anymore.

Our community is strong.

The first time I saw it in action was after the passing of Heather and Mike’s sweet baby girl Maddie. I was a newborn to the blogging world and twitter, just dipping my toes in the social media world after years of Myspace and Facebook. The outpouring of love for this young family that was going through the unthinkable was quick and true. 

  We love you and we are going to find someway to help the best we can

This is the message that has been spread. People show their love and support through blog posts, hundreds and hundreds of them.  When Mckmama’s warrior Stellan has headed to the hospital in critical condition multiple times over the last few months, the response has been the same.

We support you and want you to know you aren’t fighting alone.

Messages on Twitter are re-tweeted, and updates spread like wildfire. No one is left out of the loop. Everyone has an equal investment in the pain. No one dares suggest that because we are “only friends on the Internet” that we shouldn’t be upset. My own husband has given up trying to understand, as he watches me read “The Spohrs Are Multiplying” every morning, most days tears and laughter emitting from me together.

Our community is loving.

Anissa is a fabulous woman. I have only had the pleasure of direct interaction with her a handful of times, but over the course of my day she makes me laugh more than anyone on the interwebs. She is caring, strong, hilarious, gentle when needed, and quick….so quick to jump when a friend needs her.

She needs us. Anissa suffered a stroke yesterday and needs prayers if you’re the praying type, or just general good juju is you’re not. Gather up all the positive energy in your mind and send it towards an ICU bed in Atlanta.

Anissa, I am so hoping for a wonderful recovery for you. I fully expect you to be back and eating kittens soon.

**For updates and ways to help, please visit the Aiming Low website.**

I’ve been taking a bit of a step back from social media and the damn Internet in general in the last few days. Don’t worry, I’m still here…but I’m not allowing it to rule my days.

I spend a ridiculous amount of time with my fingertips on an electronic device. I check Facebook  and Twitter, email and message boards that I am a part of. I have to check in on my bank accounts and school work. I poke in my Fantasy leagues to see how badly I’m losing (Matt, your on my shit list). I pull up Google Reader and read all my favorite blogs.  Then when I’m finished, I end up starting at the beginning and checking them all again.

It really ends up being a way bigger part of my day then it needs to be and I think that needs to change. I have so much that I need to do every day that ends up being pushed to the side because I get sucked into the black hole that is TweetDeck, or get started playing Bejeweled on FaceBook.

I’m going to start trying to stay off the internet in the mornings before I go to work. Not that I won’t be on at all, but I want to spend more productive time with the boys, and I want to get all the things done that I’ve been putting off. I can’t do that if I’m glued to my laptop.

I’m also participating in National Novel Writing Month. I’ve actually written a novel. I finished it when I was 23, but it sits in a drawer in my room because I’m not motivated enough about my writing to see if it’s any good. I’m excited about the challenge of 50,000 words in 30 days. I think it will be fun and I am enjoying the chaos of getting to know and create characters in such a short time. My story is taking form quickly, and I’m really having fun writing it.

So…that’s what I’m trying to do. It doesn’t mean I won’t be around to chat with. It doesn’t mean I’m not here if you need me. I’ll be doing a little lurking, trying to comment on more blogs and respond to more of my comments here. Twitter gets in the way of my blogging sometimes and that’s going to change.

Mwah.

You get excited and your heart races when you see your spouse walk through the door…but it’s not because your SO!HAPPY! to see them for being them…but because you can finally pass off a crying baby.

You look forward to days off together, but not because you crave time with them…but because it means you get a bit of a break that day.

Maybe you wish they were just working…because sometimes it’s easier without them there.

What do you do when your relationship becomes more of just a way to survive, a way to get all the things done you need to in too short of a day? A partnership in raising your kids, but not a fulfilling, adult, meaningful relationship?

A dear friend of mine is struggling so badly with this and my heart breaks for her. She has tried and tried to make her significant other SEE that she is not happy being HIS mother, along with the mother of their son. She wants to be his LOVE, not the girl who makes sure dinner is cooked and his laundry is done.

So many people in my life have encountered this in their personal live, including myself. I feel that it becomes more common once kids enter the picture, but it can for sure happen in a childless scenario. One of my own relationships ended because we ended up being two people who had completely separate lives…and we just happened to sleep in the same bed at night. Nope, this is not a hotel…not going to work.

Is it possible to get past this?

I have a hard time with that question. I tend to be a person who can’t go back. Once a feeling like this invades my mind, I will worry at it bit by bit by bit until it is all consuming and I have to do something before I explode. I get to the point where I am numb, and I personally am not capable of re-sparking the fire once it has gone that cold.

I wish I had the words to help her, to tell her that it will all work out. I wish I could make her believe that even if she leaves, her life isn’t over. I wish I could get her to see that she isn’t going to ruin her son’s life by doing what is best for her. I wish I could knock that man upside his head and tell him to open his eyes, he is about to lose the best thing that ever happened to him. I wish I could make it better for her.